The Dark Comedy Of Pandemic

The Dark Comedy about Pandemic

 There is this gun pointed at your head. Then, you hear this voice. ‘Freeze! Don’t raise your hand! Imprison yourself. Cover your ugly face and glove your hand!”

Man! That’s a Pandemic! 

A  kook’s twisted dark comedy about the Pandemic.  Take for an avid reader, I’m neither a comedy writer like Stephen Fry, Tom Sharpe, or Terry Pratchett nor a political activist cum humourist, satirist Michael Moore, Bernard Shaw, but a hard-core democrat to make people realize how they are dozed by the cob-webbed fact of what-i-believe to what-i-imagine. Finally, the message gets strongly delivered by whom we are ruled: ‘what-you-think-or-do-seldom-matters’. 

“While he lived a violent life in his imagination, Eva, lacking any imagination at all, lived violently in fact.” 

-Tom Sharpe from his novel ‘Wilt’


If not taking a dip in reality check, regard this as an attempt at writing similar to a combination of Willaim Golding & Philip K. Dick’s imagination.

“You see things; you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?”

-George Bernard Shaw, from his book ‘Back to Methuselah’

For many people, a Pandemic means many things. If few consider it as a start of bio war to control this ‘candy’ little world, for few others the ‘world never know’ societies step out to bring the world population down to 1/3rd size of it. 

The rulers of G7 decided to boycott economic handshakes with southeast nations unless their hand-kerchiefs shake the white wave amongst themselves. For the synagogue, mausoleum, and 1 crore idol worshippers,  it was God’s curse upon humankind for not following the religious dogma or rites regulated by them like the mouth of their gods. 


Social, Political & Economy operations are about to stop at this red signal, Deadpool didn’t die yet but, keeps on talking & talking. 

The spiked-up grocery prices, petroleum products, and global markets sustaining the value of the gold, diamond and other precious metals tell a different story. No government is toppled by pandemics. No people’s moment or movement has accomplished anything worth it since the 2019  outbreak.

Nuclear war debates continue as usual. The media’s mouth was shut with sugar-coated baby’s teether.  Acrid blame on who is responsible for the rise of death rates took a toll upon each other without any slight damage or hassle by grown/ drone spying countries. The media babies never realized it is their duty to step out of the pram and run an ER service all over the world.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. 

-Terry Pratchett from his novel ‘Jingo’


To spice up the global market control, all of the above countries launched research labs for anti-dote. What got burnt in their Bunsen-Burner nobody knows.  But those lab makers end up turning them successfully as business closing deals centers upon corporate investments.

During the pandemic indoor or, Outdoor stadiums, abandoned public auditoriums, and Marshlands turn into war-modeled canopy hospitals. First aid is directed by the vaccines of the respective ruling class controlling corporates and sponsors.

My nation is still a country of untouchability. The holy river and its banks open secretively irrigated with covid dead bodies. The purification process took an unexpected turn when they are actually fed by riverside stray dogs as well as covered up footage by the barking ones of ‘finger-shuffling-under-towel’ media. 

In my nation, the death rate has been tampered with false counts, reports, and warnings by U.S universities that are meticulously dampened to citizens’ ears, vaccination & authorization are periodically staged,  bingo. one fine day vaccine is ready for the general public. 

And piteously public has considered them as doubting Thomas about vaccination’s side-free effects. Out of grave fear, suddenly became jobless, famine & starvation tested their body-mind balance, imprisoned to dwell where they accidentally landed,  These two-legged humans turned into monkeys,  climbed the tree, and started living hideously.  


Shelters, Hospitals, Platforms, and Emergency Vehicles turned into coffins without nails. In the central part of the nation, the whole state is clueless about why dragging human bodies became part of their daily routines.

Infection blew like a wild breeze during the election campaigns. Highways got transformed into a gold bar and black money trading silk routes,  toll plazas held heavy-duty cops to collar pick the in-numerous car, bike, truck-driving Jason Statham’s knowingly or unknowingly transporting them from, to, for political parties & caste clans. 

Then, spot-light got showered on Schools and Universities. What gurgled people’s stomach is that they misunderstood it as a place for knowledge to learn. Instead, they are unnoticeably doing the rightful job of sex trade exploiting their underage & teenage daughters. 1000-page trial & confession reports have filled tabloids for a month.

“Evil begins when you begin to treat people like things.” 

-Terry Pratchet from his book ‘I Shall Wear Midnight


People watch and they don’t really care to watch it with red eyes. Their eyes had already gone bloodshot long back of their lost loved ones, roll in bed to pass sleepless nights, the monster is not under their bed or inside the blanket but in the air, they breathe.

“As a kid, I was always afraid of the dark”. 

My grandma used to say: ‘That’s perfectly OK honey. When you grow up don’t be afraid of the light. That’s worse’  

-From the novel of H.P.Lovecraft



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